Got Water?

Um this post is a longggggg one, enjoy! 

Water is powerful. If I could be an element it would be water. I stumbled upon this quote on Instagram, because you know social media influencers are the deepest, most motivating, wealthiest people around right. In this case the influencer was spitting straight poetry. It said "she is water, powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you and deep enough to save you". Water is essential. Your body will turn against you the longer you go without water. Can you imagine the body having trouble regulating its internal temperature, organs failing, your brain swelling because you denied it a necessity. 

So today I'm sipping on some water out of a Simply Modern cup. Quick plug, this is my favorite cup. It does exactly what's marketed and keeps my water cold ALL day. You can find this magic cup at my favorite hangout spot, Target. I'm sipping though, and thinking about a rum punch and how my boundaries are as loose and free flowing as the ocean. My boundary-less life is not new to me. My therapist even gave me a book to read about boundaries the first time we met... virtually. She knew instantly that my boundaries opened as often as Florida flood gates (I have no statistical data on how often that is, but it sounds provocative). Back to water, boundaries, and today. 

Today I rushed from work to pick up my child because our provider has a strict 5:00 pick up. I work a good 19 or so miles from her and everyone in Chicago knows that navigating north side traffic at 4:00pm is no joke, so everyday I suffer I mini anxiety attack because I just don't know if I'll make it on time. Today I make it to the daycare with 2 mins to spare. Ms. Daycare Lady opens the door and I see my child waiting as usual with her coat on and Ms. Daycare Lady with a jacket on (not usual). She says "hey do you have time to take me to K&G to make a return? Now, this is not the first time this has happened. Just a few weeks ago I dropped her off at the nail shop and took her to look for shoes (I know loose boundaries). A sane person in my position would have said nope, I have to get home, make dinner, give a bath, do homework, listen to my husband's day and fall asleep to a Netflix series, but I said sure. She hops in the car on the phone, my toddler is settled in her carseat and I'm driving to K&G. She stops her conversation and says oh can we stop at Ashley Stewart first. I give a slight side eye, figure out the closest one and make a u-turn to Ashley Stewart. To paint a clear picture for y'all, she was on the phone for a good 15 mins and it took about 17 to get to the store. We go in, she explains what she needs and why she needs it and the shopper in me becomes her personal stylist, only to have all of my very fashionable picks shut down, she even said one was a granny dress *insert gasp*. Mind you, she is a granny! Eventually, we leave with nothing, but I'm thinking she'll find something at K&G when she makes her return and I can go about my day having done a good deed, for my elder. 

Well this is the part of the story where I begin to really question myself and decision making. While on our way to K&G, Ms. Lady says "do you know that store Mom and Me? I've gotten a dress from them. I wonder if they have something." I say "well do you want check, there's one in the mall across from K&G". Of course she says "yes". We get to the mall and went into 1.Mom and Me, 2.Windsor and 3.JCPenny, with a toddler and no diaper bag or snacks. At this point I can feel my ghostly boundaries being trampled all over. Maybe I was dehydrated, not thinking, not able to vocalize my thoughts because I was in dire need of water and my body had decided to rebel. Could a glass of water have saved me from feeling the weight of passive aggressiveness that accompanied my absent boundaries? Fast forward, we made it to K&G finally but while on my way to her house, we stopped at a Ross and Walgreens. There were many moments when I just felt small. After her not trusting my expert fashion sense, ability to identify colors (she asked the white girl at the counter what color her dress was when I told her twice it was light pink. The girl confirmed light pink *insert eyeroll*) and my stocking matching techniques (everyone knows that black girls wear coffee or off black) but she didn't even trust that, so once again she had to confirm with a different lady at check out. 

I was thinking after Ubering her around, while she had several phone conversations, that she was done with me. My toddler was done with both of us, but nope, Ms. Daycare says "do you eat at restaurants?" Now, ya'll, who doesn't eat at restaurants. I'm like um like McDonalds??? She's like "Miller's Ale? we can get something to eat?" I found my voice and simply said "not tonight". Why didn't I say that earlier? She made a comment about going to sleep hungry and laughed. I did nothing, said nothing else, just drove about 1000 in a 25 lane (all made up). We made it home at 8:30 tonight, yes 8:30 when I picked my child up at 4:58. 

Boundaries are powerful just like water. The looser they are the more you are drowned in others thoughts, expectations, time and energy. But they also have the power to save you. I read somewhere else that boundaries are an invisible shield that keep you safe from the choppy waters of life. Today, I learned I should've read that book about boundaries, I should keep water close by and setting boundaries are vital to caring for myself and my time well. 

- Dehydrated Diva